Sunday, February 19, 2012

Spousified

I am three years old.  I am getting married.  My mother and her friend who plays in my room with me are getting married too.  I am not sure how this is supposed to be because I thought that only two people could get married-like a prince and a princess, but he tells me that if I don't tell anyone else, I can be a bride too- the real princess.  I will get a new dress and I will stand with my mother and him and he says that all of the words that they say about love and taking care of each other forever will be meant for me too.  I just don't get to say anything back.  That's okay, because I am shy and I don't know many words.  My brother will stand there too. That is just so no one will think it's weird that it's just me. He won't get to be a prince.


My mother's boyfriend has his hand over my chest and he is pushing me up against him as he says the things he is supposed to say in front of the preacher.  He looks down at me a lot instead of at my mother.  I don't feel very good about this.  I don't think this is how it is supposed to go and am afraid of the way he is holding me so close.  I pull away just a bit, but the pressure he is using to keep me in my place is too much for me to budge.  Now I know for sure that this is not what I want. I want to got play in my room by myself.  My brother and I don't look at each other, but I can tell he is feeling the same way. 


There are lots of people in the room, so I guess maybe this is okay, right? 


...

I don't think I need to say a whole lot more- that is what my other stories are about ( and a whole lot more). But there are some interesting toxic dynamics that can happen in families of all kinds. This scenario is an example of what is called "Spousification". Please have a look at the link below which talks about this and other forms of Boundary Dissolution ( Spousification is the last on the page):


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